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How do you deal with the Singapore Police?

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From my experience dealing with them, these are some of the tactics they use and counter moves I can share:

1) They like you to know they know everything when they know shit. They form their own hypothesis and wait for you to agree or confirm. Therefore, never make a response in full sentences or use affirmative words like true-untrue. Answer in part by putting conditional words to your statements with “but”, “if-else” and “when”. Read up a bit on basic java programming, learn conditional languages.

2) They appear cooperative by first cornering you into a position through yes-no questions. Metaphorically speaking, they throw you into a psychological pit and offer their hand to “help you out”, if you cooperate. Jump around and side-step them by giving them ambiguous answers. Pepper your statements with “probably”, “I believe” and “it appears to me”.

3) They lie and they can get away with that because there is no recording and that at the end of the session it is your statements they are recording, not theirs. Prepare yourself by putting up a psychological barrier, knowing every single word coming out of their mouth can be a lie.

4) The Police need a confession. Never give them what they want. You cannot lie to the Police, but you can tell them half-truth and mislead them. This needs practice. Take care not to contradict yourself.

5) Use the same tactics onto them. A successful police interview means the police interrogator likes you. Don’t make them dislike you. Make them like you, throw a bait to them, lure them to let you off for now. Hint that you may tell them more the next time you meet.

6) Don’t trust anyone, including your lawyer. Paying them exorbitant lawyer fees doesn’t mean they are there to help you. Trust your own competency. Believe you are better than your lawyer, the police and the judge, believe only you yourself can get you out of the situation. Trust nobody. Develop your own strategies and make use of your lawyer (you paid them, not the other way), do not tell them everything. You don’t care if you are innocent, you want out.

7) Play amnesia. Forget, forgot and absent-mindedness is your friend. But be careful not to piss them off.

8) When they tell you that you are not under investigation, chances are you are the prime target for investigation. When they tell you that they need your assistance, chances are you are the prime target for investigation but they have no evidence. When they took the trouble to appear at your door, you know you are fucked – it means they are not letting you escape. Like hunting, the police will not do anything to reveal their intentions. They want your guard to be down (this is also why I will never return to Singapore). The safer you think you are, the more dangerous you are in.

9) Control the pace of the interview. Never let them control the conversation. Control the conversation by returning questions to their questions. Use your logic. I do notice the Police interrogator is most afraid of you asking them for their opinion, because they can’t express any.

If you employ these tactics, the ending statement report is as good as bullshit. Remember, smile. Make them feel good. It is a psychological battle and a war of will (yours against them), if you find yourself too nervous or breaking down, call for a toilet break to psycho yourself.

I hope this might come in handy to you one day…whether if you are innocent or not.

Cheated Singaporean


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